[The same woods as the previous scene. Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout, and Starveling to rehearse their play]
Bottom
Quince
Pat, pat. And here's a marvelous convenient
place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our
stage, this hawthorn brake our tiring-house, and we
will do it in action as we will do it before the Duke.
Bottom
Quince
What sayst thou, bully Bottom?
Bottom
There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and
Thisbe that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw
a sword to kill himself, which the ladies cannot abide.
Snout
By'r la'kin, a parlous fear.
Starveling
I believe we must leave the killing out when
Bottom
Not a whit. I have a device to make all well. Write
me a prologue, and let the prologue seem to say we will
do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not
killed indeed, and for the more better assurance, tell
them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom the
weaver. This will put them out of fear.
Quince
Well, we will have such a prologue, and it shall be
written in eight and six.
Bottom
No, make it two more. Let it be written in eight
Snout
Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
Starveling
I fear it, I promise you.
Bottom
Masters, you ought to consider with yourself: to
bring in — God shield us — a lion among ladies is a most
dreadful thing, for there is not a more fearful wild fowl
than your lion living, and we ought to look to't.
Snout
Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a
Bottom
Nay, you must name his name, and half his face
must be seen through the lion's neck, and he himself
must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect:
“ladies,” or “fair ladies, I would wish you” or “I would
request you” or “I would entreat you not to fear, not to
tremble. My life for yours; if you think I come hither as
a lion, it were pity — of my life. No, I am no such thing.
I am a man as other men are.” And there, indeed, let
him name his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug
Quince
Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things:
that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber, for you
know Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight.
Snug
Doth the moon shine that night we play our
Bottom
A calendar, a calendar — look in the almanac,
find out moonshine, find out moonshine.
[Enter Robin, invisible]
Quince
[Consulting an almanac] Yes, it doth shine that
Bottom
Why, then may you leave a casement of the great
chamber window where we play open, and the moon
may shine in at the casement.
Quince
Ay, or else one must come in with a bush of
thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure or
to present the person of Moonshine. Then there is
another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber,
for Pyramus and Thisbe, says the story, did talk
through the chink of a wall.
Snout
You can never bring in a wall. What say you,
Bottom
Some man or other must present Wall, and let
him have some plaster, or some loam, or some
roughcast about him, to signify “wall,” and let him
hold his fingers thus, and through that cranny shall
Pyramus and Thisbe whisper.
Quince
If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down,
every mother's son, and rehearse your parts. Pyramus,
you begin. When you have spoken your speech, enter
into that brake. And so every one according to his cue.
Robin
[Invisible, Robin speaks an aside which only the audience can hear]
What hempen homespuns have we swagg’ring here
So near the cradle of the Fairy Queen?
What, a play toward? I'll be an auditor —
An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause.
Quince
Speak, Pyramus. Thisbe, stand forth.
Bottom (as Pyramus)
Thisbe, the flowers of odious savors sweet.
Quince
Bottom (as Pyramus)
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear.
But hark, a voice. Stay thou but here a while,
And by and by I will to thee appear.
[Exit Bottom behind the hedge]
Robin
[Aside] A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here.
[Exit Robin following Bottom behind the hedge]
Flute
Quince
Ay, marry, must you. For you must understand he goes
but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.
Flute (as Thisbe)
Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier,
Most bristly juvenile, and eke most lovely jew,
As true as truest horse that yet would never tire.
I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.
Quince
“Ninus' tomb,” man! Why, you must not speak
that yet; that, you answer to Pyramus. You speak all
your part at once, cues and all. — Pyramus, enter. Your
cue is past; it is “never tire.”
Flute
[As Thisbe]
As true as truest horse that yet would never tire.
[Enter Robin and Bottom, whose head has been transformed by Robin into that of an ass. He recites his line as he comes around the hedge.]
Bottom (as Pyramus)
If I were fair, Thisbe, I were only thine.
Quince
O monstrous! O strange! We are haunted. Pray,
Masters, fly, masters. Help!
[Exit all the actors including Bottom, leaving just Robin on the stage]
Robin
I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier.
Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire,
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.
[Exit Robin. Re-enter Bottom with his ass's head]
Bottom
Why do they run away? This is a knavery of them
[Enter Snout]
Snout
O Bottom, thou art changed. What do I see on
Bottom
What do you see? You see an ass-head of your
[Exit Snout. Enter Quince]
Quince
Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee. Thou art translated.
[Exit Quince]
Bottom
I see their knavery. This is to make an ass of me,
to fright me if they could. But I will not stir from this
place, do what they can. I will walk up and down here,
and I will sing that they shall hear I am not afraid.
[Sings]
The ousel cock so black of hue,
The throstle with his note so true,
The wren with little quill.
[The Fairy Queen Titania has been asleep on the edge of the stage since Oberon placed the love potion on her eyelids in the prior scene. She now wakes up and sees Bottom with the ass's head.]
Titania
[Waking] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?
Bottom
[Sings]
The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,
The plainsong cuckoo grey,
Whose note full many a man doth mark,
And dares not answer “Nay” —
[Speaks to himself]
For indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a bird?
Who would give a bird the lie, though he cry “cuckoo”
Titania
I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again.
Mine ear is much enamored of thy note;
So is mine eye enthrallèd to thy shape.
And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
Bottom
Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason
for that. And yet, to say the truth, reason and love
keep little company together nowadays; the more
the pity that some honest neighbors will not make them
friends. Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.
Titania
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.
Bottom
Not so, neither. But if I had wit enough to get out
of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn.
Titania
Out of this wood do not desire to go.
Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
I am a spirit of no common rate,
The Summer still doth tend upon my state.
And I do love thee; therefore go with me.
I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,
And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
And sing while thou, on pressèd flowers, dost sleep,
And I will purge thy mortal grossness so
That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Mote, and Mustardseed!
[Enter Titania's fairy servants: Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Mote, and Mustardseed]
Peaseblossom
Cobweb
Mote
Mustardseed
All
Titania
Be kind and courteous to this gentleman.
Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes.
Feed him with apricots and dewberries,
With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries.
The honeybags steal from the humble-bees,
And for night tapers crop their waxen thighs
And light them at the fiery glow-worms’ eyes
To have my love to bed, and to arise.
And pluck the wings from painted butterflies
To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes.
Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.
Peaseblossom
Cobweb
Mote
Mustardseed
Bottom
I cry your worships mercy, heartily. I beseech
Cobweb
Bottom
I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good
Master Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I shall
make bold with you. — Your name, honest gentleman?
Peaseblossom
Bottom
I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your
mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good
Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more
acquaintance too — Your name, I beseech you, sir?
Mustardseed
Bottom
Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience
well. That same cowardly giantlike ox-beef hath
devoured many a gentleman of your house. I promise
you, your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now. I
desire you of more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.
Titania
[To the fairies] Come, wait upon him, lead him to my bower.
The moon, methinks, looks with a wat’ry eye,
And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
Lamenting some enforcèd chastity.
Tie up my love's tongue. Bring him silently.
[Exit all.]
